Bonjour Bonjour!!!
Well I think Im having one of those "post exam hangover effects" this pday....you know when you stressed and worry over exams and are just much to busy to get sick...then when its over your body crashes. (My family is very familiar with my post-exam sicknesses that occur every Christmas holday). Well this week was crazy busy and stressful...and today is going to be a pday of sleeping...no going out to admire old buildings or naked statues for me today. Ah well...please try and make sense of my sick-brain influenced email...here we go...
Like I mentioned this week was pretty crazy. We had exchanges, which normally every transfer I look forward too...but this week taking time out of our crazy scheadule to sit on trains just seemed to mess up our groove...add in a snow day when everyone cancelled on us because of a sudden snow storm...and well all of the sudden the week felt very short and we had too much to do and too little time...
and phew, your probably telling me to breath at this point. But that's what Sundays are for. Especially fast and testimony Sundays. Yesterday was incrediable. The heating in the chapel wasn't working and so we had sacrament meeting in the gym. It made everyone sit much closer and all of the sudden I was aware of what a big ward family we have. And as I looked around I realized how many people in this ward I have had the priviledge of getting to know and learn from. The members here are really such an example for me. And then after such a crazy and stressful week, I had one of thoses moments where I just felt like I just had way too many blessings to count and I am scum of the earth for every complaining about having to go in -12°c weather...its a priviledge to do that!
Then I had a flashback. Bear with me for a moment. So as a missionary I feel like people are continually asking you what made you decide to serve a mission, maybe sister missionaries get that question even more often. And I always feel like my answer seems a little funny to people. My answer is usally somewhere along the lines of "I had good experiences sharing the gospel, and wanted to do it full time". Today, Im going to expound upon that. So in 2009 (does it really feel like that long ago?) I did my internship out at Disneyworld. My goals for going- play in the parks for free as much as possible...and avoid winter. Well I got out there and found out that working at Disneyworld actually is hard work...and doesn't pay great. I debated going home. I could get paid much more and live at home for free. I remember calling mom and asking her what she thought. I told her I wasn't happy, and didn't know what to do about it. Her answer (which she probably doesnt even remember) was not what I expected. She told me to keep a gratitude journal. Wierd I know. I wasn't sure how that was going to fix my problem. But I decided to try it...I mean I would have to give Disney at least a two weeks notice anyways...might as well be grateful in the process. Well I started, and all of the sudden I noticed I had alot of blessings. And that made me want to read my scriptures and pray regularly. Then as I started to do those little things, I was happier. And when people noticed that my nametag at Disney saide BYU on it, and they would ask if I was Mormon, I felt so much more ready to share what I believed, and truly testify that this gospel is the only way to be happy in this life. One night I remember particularly, I was sitting in the kitchen with another girl from BYU, talking with our boss. It was after the park was closed, I was covered in french fry grease, we were closing up the restuarant, which meant it was probably around 1 am; when he pulled out the Book of Mormon we had given him a few weeks earlier. He asked us why we believed in this. I remember so distintly that feeling of testifying to him that his family could be together forever. That we keep the commandments so we can go to the temple and recieve that promise from our Heavenly Father. I remember him telling us, he wasn't ready to make the changes it takes to go to the temple...but that was the most beautiful promises he had ever heard of and we better do everything we can to be married in the temple.
Strange right? My parents, YW leaders, and seminary teachers had spent years pounding temple marriage into my head. And I always thought ya, ya ok. But when he looked at us and asked him to promise him that we would go to the temple...I just knew there was no other option for me. I also knew that I was so lucky to have that option in my life. I am just so blessed to have the gospel in my life. And suddenly, I knew in that moment, that I needed to share that option with others. I didn't know yet I would serve a mission...that would take another two years of painful decision making, but I knew that the only path I wanted to take in the life was a straight and narrow one, and I wanted to invite as many people as I could to come with me.
I know your thinking, yup she definately has a fever, what does this have to do with anything. The answer is gratitude. Because of my inspired, righteous mother, I was taught the value of having a grateful attitude...that little change in attitude has led me to where I am today- and I am so glad! This week I was reminded of the importance of that. Everything did not go as planned as this week. We had rendezvous cancelled, people disappoint us, frigid weather threaten the safety of my nose and toes, and scheadules change (I know...the horror!) but we also had miracles occur, some big, and some so little I didn't notice them until I took the time to pray and thank my Heavenly Father.
Im realizing in the moment I havn't told you about any of our amis this week, or any stories, and yet all of this makes sense in my brain...but probably not when its written down. But every week when I sit down to write my email I am reminded again of how many blessings I have, and this week I wanted to share that feeling. There are many things I have yet to learn about the gospel, or how to be a good missionary, or compaion, or friend, or sister, or daughter. There is much I have to learn when it comes to speaking french. But there is one thing I do know. When I keep the commandments I am happy...and I know I am blessed.
And that's why I am a missionary.
Love you all!
Soeur Smith
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