March 19, 2012 "My Laman and Lemuel tendancies"

Bonjour à tous!

Sounds like this week was amazing for the family (and stressful for mom!). I can't believe that it was Chris's farewell. Won't lie....all I have running through my head is Chris's voice saying "a mission is great for you Courtney Smith, but not for me" when we said goodbye in January 2011... holy cow miracles do happen! I only wish I could have been there...at least I know Im guaranteed front row seat at the homecoming :)

This week I have felt a little bit like a Lamen or a Lemuel. You know, missionary work is hard! I know people warn you of that...but some days its just hard. I feel like my whole mission, I've developed this little 'Lamen and Lemuel cycle'. Missionary work becomes hard ->I grumble->the Lord sends a tender mercy->I feel grateful->all the sudden I feel supper pumped and love missionary life->then it becomes hard-> voila quoi....my little cycle. Ok its not alway tout à fait like that....but sometimes there are days....weeks...transfers.... like that.

So this week we had a lot of tender little mercies. Kedinnetse shows up at church with pages of notes on the atonement because she has been studying all week to prepare for Sunday School. An excommunicated member finally kicks out her boyfriend and starts to put her life together. The elders contact this awsome lady who we start teaching...and then she introduces us to her friends. I go on exchanges and visit an adorable city in the north of france and contact some awsome people. I have the best companion ever who keeps me laughing. Or just little things like while reading the scriptures the Holy Ghost whisper tender things I needed to hear in that moment.

So sometimes I just wonder...why am I so human? Being human just feels so ...weak! I don't want to grumble when things get hard, I dont want to doubt that people will keep their commitments, I dont want to doubt that there are families out there prepared to accept the gospel. But sometimes those little thoughts creep in. I guess that is just where my testimony of the atonement has grown so much this past year. Heavenly Father knew we have human tendancies. He knew we would give in. I mean...He even said he gave us our weaknesses (Ether 12). But he also said he would make us strong. So I guess that is why the gospel is a gospel of hope. We have all these human tendancies, but our loving Father gave us a way to overcome them,through our Savoir Jesus Christ. Christ taught<< These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.>> John 16:33

So at the end of my week of weaknesses and grumblings, Im feeling good cheer...because I get another week to be a missionary and share the good news.

I love you all!

Soeur Smith